Bev Aisbett's Art of Anxiety
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Books on the way

5/22/2014

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Just completed the draft manuscript for my third book for Arcturus Publishing in London. These books are my illustrated versions of Allen Carr's bestsellers 'The Easyway to Stop Smoking' and 'The Easyway for Women to Stop Smoking'. This new one is 'The Easyway to Control Your Drinking' and will probably hit the shelves by the end of the year.

I am also busy working on my own next title and I'm tremendously excited by this book, as it focuses on the aspect of my work which has been the turning point for many people who have done my workshops and involves learning to 'parent' yourself in times of crisis.

Too often, we look to others to provide us with appreciation, attention, support and comfort, yet deprive our own selves of these things. Not only this but when your inner child is not being nourished, he or she can create real havoc in your life. They'll do ANYTHING to get attention, including self sabotage! So, if things are going whacky in your life, looking within is the ONLY place to start

I am currently 3/4 of the way through the initial submission of 'Parenting Little IT - How to Heal the Little Kid who is Sabotaging Big You'. A submission involves sending off two or three sample chapters and an overview to the publishers and then crossing your fingers that they accept it! If not, I will do it as an ebook. This one is just too important to let pass by!

Stay tuned!

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Interview on Anxiety

9/21/2013

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Recently did an interview for Compton and Green Real Estate for their blog (you never know where I'll show up, do you?) Here is a sample:

What do you think was the cause of your anxiety and how did you overcome
it?


To put it simply- I doubted myself and my worth. Added to this was years of fretful, critical,
pessimistic and negative self-talk. Put all this together and it's no surprise that something
had to give!
 
Firstly, it's important to get a handle on the concept that reality isn't determining how you
feel - your thoughts are. If you put twenty people in a room and asked them what
their level of comfort was, you'd get twenty different answers. The conditions
in the room are the same but it's the individual's interpretation of sensations
and events that make things 'seem' a certain way. If you think and respond
anxiously, you'll feel anxious so getting your thinking right affects
everything.

There are other components to recovery too, such as improving the
relationship with self, learning to detach from others' opinions and adopting a
healthier philosophy on life and many other skills - all of which helped me to
recovery and which I teach in my workshops

What do you think brought on your anxiety?

I had just taken the plunge into becoming a freelance illustrator after years of the security of paid employment. This was in the 'Recession we had to have' (according to Paul Keating), so it was a gamble and every second bugger was happy to remind me of that. Even though I had a good
client base (including the Sunday Age and the (then) Herald) my fears and
self-doubt kicked in, big-time. "Who do you think you are? You'll fail!'

You have also experienced depression. How bad did it get?

Very severe at times.

How did you overcome that and how are you doing today?

I don't necessarily see my depression as a bad thing. I see it more as a sort of hibernation
 - a necessary retreat while I licked my wounds and regained strength.

I came to realize a few things, too - that the world went on quite nicely without my having to single-handedly hold it up and I also learned that feeling sorry for yourself (which, let’s be honest, is what’s
happening) doesn't change a thing. Life’s neither fair nor unfair. Life just IS according to the choices we make and what we bring to and how we interpret each experience according to our own 'filters'. It's these filters which make things seem either 'good' or 'bad', 'pleasant' or 'unpleasant'. Change the filter and you see things differently. People get this backwards - they think that they have to change the circumstances to feel better.

How did I overcome it? I used all that I'd learned above plus ongoing study into personal development, psychology and philosophy. I also think having a spiritual practice and context is crucial to recovery, so I meditate daily and visit an ashram which has given me a wonderful perspective. I see life
very differently now - it's really just a game which tests your strengths and highlights the weak spots that need your attention.

I now see challenges less as personal affronts and more like 'OK, what's this calling me
to work on now?"

How am I today? Never better but a work in progress as I will be till the day I leave this planet for the next adventure.

You’re also a talented artist, cartoonist, illustrator and counsellor. Which job do you love
the most?


I absolutely LOVE the feeling that comes with helping to empower someone to step into their strength and take back the reins of their life where previously they felt like a victim to their anxiety. I'm never more
sure, confident or clear than I am when I'm running my workshops. I just go where it feels right to go, with great results.
Painting is very much a contemplative, meditative thing where I can happily lose myself for hours. Then
there's that wonderful 'ahhh' moment when you just know the painting is finished. People seem to engage strongly with my paintings on an emotional level, so there's that connection to something bigger coming through, too. I love doing my illustrated books, too but deadlines can be, well, a bit deadly.

What message or words of advice would you like to send out to
people suffering from depression or anxiety?


That you CAN get better but starting right NOW you need to be willing to make recovery your focus and stop constantly reinforcing the problem by givin. Put it this way - you know you don't like it,
so what more needs to be said about it?

The next step is to start heading in the direction of where you'd rather be and to learn the skills you
need to learn to achieve that. Then keep going, one day at a time, never looking back. You'll get there. You'll find that you not only handle anxiety and depression better but many other aspects of life as well. It's a big journey but the learning along the way is invaluable and let's face it, necessary if you want to live well.

How does it feel to have helped so many people?

I keep thinking that I would never have been able to do so if I hadn't been there and back, so it makes my own little visits to what I thought of as hell at the time, something that now has value and meaning. I'm so happy when someone writes to me to say they don't need my help anymore and that they're doing it for themselves now. That's always been my quest, to help people remember that they are their own healers.

Describe your personality in five words
Passionate Courageous Creative Cheeky and a Right Royal Pain the Butt At Times (just like everyone else)

What is the number 1 life lesson you have learnt?

That I have taken 'IT' and myself way too seriously in the past

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Mental Health Week 2013

9/21/2013

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Three public talks on Overcoming Anxiety and the ART OF ANXIETY WORKSHOP coming up for Mental Health Week (8th-12th October):

TUESDAY 9TH OCTOBER Public lecture MELBOURNE CITY LIBRARY 
           6.30 pm for 7pm start  Book through library
Address: 253 Flinders Ln,
Melbourne VIC 3000
Phone:(03)
9658 9500

THURSDAY 10TH OCTOBER  Public lecture AVONDALE HEIGHTS LIBRARY 
     6.00 pm Book through library
Avondale Heights Library and Learning Centre
mvcc.vic.gov.au
 69-79 Military Rd
Avondale Heights
(03) 8325 1940

FRIDAY 11TH OCTOBER Public Lecture FOOTSCRAY LIBRARY
6.00 pm Book through library
56 Paisley St,
Footscray 
(03)9688 0290
      See library websites for details

ART OF ANXIETY WORKSHOP - over two Saturdays ; 12th and 19th OCTOBER 10am to 4pm
                                          (Details on ART OF ANXIETY WORKSHOPS page of this site

NOTE: EARLYBIRD DISCOUNT FOR THE WORKSHOP HAS EXPIRED, HOWEVER, IF YOU ATTEND ONE OF THE LECTURES YOU MAY RECEIVE THE DISCOUNT IF YOU MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN TO BEV ON THE NIGHT AND REGISTER IMMEDIATELY. LIMITED NUMBER OF PLACES LEFT.
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The Ten Anxiety Commandments

5/20/2013

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To celebrate the launch of the 20th Anniversary revised and expanded version of Living with IT, (see Book News blog here and BOOKS page on this site) I was interviewed last week for the Hobson's Bay Weekly (edition of paper coming out first week of June) about Living with It being seen as the 'anxiety bible' by many readers and the journalist asked me, if that was the case, what would be my 'ten commandments'
for anxiety ?

So here they are:

1. Thou shalt accept and not resist (which makes it worse) the fact of anxiety in thy current experience

2. Thou shalt allow the physical sensations to simply be without adding a story to them

3. Thou shalt be ever vigilant of thy thoughts, as thoughts are the creators of thy experience (and not the other way around)

4. Thou shalt cease idolising the problem and focus steadily on the solution instead

5. Thou shalt be a thousand times kinder to thyself

6. Thou shalt soothe, comfort and 'parent' thyself and shall desist from terrorising thyself

7. Thou shalt cease to make the external responsible for thy wellbeing and attend to it thyself

8. Thou shalt use thy anxiety to inform thou of necessary changes and make those changes

9. If thou makest a big deal out of it, it shall seem to be a big deal

10. Thou shalt not treat scary thoughts as if they are gospel



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The Arrival of Living with IT Mark II

5/20/2013

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Picture
Delighted to announce that the all-new revised Living with IT  has just been released by HarperCollins to celebrate 20 fabulous years in print!

I can't tell you how many wonderful messages I have received from readers over the years telling me that this little book has been their 'anxiety bible' and for some, has even changed their life.

When I think of the ordeal that preceded my writing of this book and the others that followed, I find I hardly recognise the person that I was back then; a message I hope conveys hope to those who are thinking that their life is 'over' because they are experiencing anxiety. It's not! It will take a bit of work but hey, here I am, living proof! Not only is my life not over but I am better than ever because I went through that experience.

Very recently I received a lovely message from a reader whose elderly father was arriving from overseas in a matter of days. She was very concerned for him because he was experiencing severe anxiety and depression - crying, not sleeping, hardly eating and very distraught. She showed him her copy of Living with IT  which he initially refused to look at but she encouraged him to just read a few pages and if he thought it was rubbish, throw it away Before long, he was halfway through the book and she sent me a photo she had taken secretly of him with his nose buried in it and sent it to me. That night, he slept for the first time in weeks, he stopped crying and was much more settled.

The next day, I received another photo of her dad holding the book and beaming at the camera. Now, it's things like this that make it all worthwhile!

Details of both the original and 20th Anniversary editions of Living with IT are on the 'Books' page of this site where you can order your own copy. But here's a warning - never lend it out or you'll never see it again ! :)



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Handling Mr Angry

4/24/2013

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A friend of mine recently decided to face down some nervousness and take the plunge (or dip her toe in the water!) and explore Internet dating after quite a long period by herself. As a person who had used her time of solitude for some intense inner searching (and finding) over recent years, she was approaching this from a different perspective than she had in the past and had learned from previous experience of writing all the things she didn't want on her profile  to instead put a more positive (and non-judgmental) spin on her new one.

She decided that a good way to compose this was to phrase it in terms of a wish-liist - something similar to "If wishes came true - we'd share great, intelligent conversation, enjoy going to the movies and talking about them for hours, we'd discuss our favourite books and we'd travel to exotic far-off places - if only in our minds' and so on. A positive,clever way to talk about the things she'd like to share and totally non-threatening...or so she thought!

On the first day that her profile went up she received a message along the liines of: 'Me, me, me! I've never read a more selfish profile. You disgust me! Look at you - you're just a dried-up old trout' and so on.

Whew! Hard to not be stung by something as fierce as that but there are lessons in these things :
(a) People come into your experience for a reason. What was the reason he popped up?
(b) Had she really learned to not let another affect her own wellbeing?
(c) Could she see past the words to the heart of the person who wrote them?
(d) Did he convey something she disowned or feared in herself?
(e) Could she find forgiveness for this man?


In the end, my friend behaved with great integrity. She simply wrote 'And loving kindness to you, too'
And she saw the fear and hurt that were behind his words and wished him well. And then she blocked the sender.







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The Art of Anxiety DVD is now launched!

4/12/2013

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I am so thrilled to be able to announce that my new resource to those experiencing anxiety - the ART of Anxiety DVD workshop is now fully completed and available to order. There were a few technical hitches with the website (it disappeared completely for five days -I was a tad frantic I must admit) but now it's all systems go. To compensate for the downtime, I have extended the advance order discount to this coming Monday 15th April, so there's still time to get the DVD kit for $40 off!

This is a very comprehensive five week program, based on my fifteen years of live workshops, which will bring you all that I have taught (and learned) over those many years of working with people experiencing anxiety and related conditions.

If you have anxiety and you want to move on, this is a MUST HAVE! Did I use the no-no word 'must'? Yes! This time it gets a free pass because I KNOW it will be of benefit to you. Check out the DVD workshop on the HOME STUDY page.

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Welcome to my Brand New Website

3/5/2013

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So excited to have launched this new site and to be able to access it whenever I want (previously needed technical help to change things). This will enable me to add lots of new things as I come up with them, including the ART OF ANXIETY workshop DVD which is soon to be released (which I'm extremely excited about!) The person doing the editing sent me a special message when he first looked at the footage to say how much insight he was gaining just watching the rough cuts! This will be ready in early April and I have a special advance order price if you want to get in early! (See the HOME STUDY page for details). Once it's edited, I will also put an extract on the site so you can have a preview.

I want to say a few thank you's here firstly to www.weebly.com for creating such an easy-to-use way to create a free website (and I'm no tech-head) and with lots of support. I'd recommend Weebly if you want to build a site.

Secondly, a big thank you to my lovely friend Vayu Devi who tutored me through the first shaky steps and then I was off and running and finally to Madalen who handled the tech stuff at the end so that you can purchase directly from the site. Now I have done this site, I'm keen to do another so I will be creating another one in a little while which is dedicated to my other great love, my artwork and there'll be lots of lovely goodies on there too, to lift the spirits.

But first things first. If you're experiencing anxiety, hang in there. Help is on the way. It may all seem terrible just now because you THINK it is but actually nothing bad is happening. It just seems that way right now.

Anxiety CAN be history and you can make it so, much easier than you may think. You do need to put in a bit of work but it will be worth it and the sooner you get cracking, the sooner you will find your feet again. I'm living proof that anxiety need not be anything more than a speed bump on your path through life, where right now you probably think you've hit a permanent road block. You haven't. There are ways to steer yourself into a better place.

Try the IT Kit or if you can wait another month, get the DVD (See HOME STUDY page). If you're in Melbourne (or within reach of Melbourne) make an appointment for one-to-one counselling (See COUNSELLOR page) or check out my WORKSHOPS page which includes the exciting new venture for small in-home presentations THE 'AMONG FRIENDS' workshop and I'll be putting regular posts on here to help keep you on track.

I'm so proud to have been able to reach out to so many people over these years and there's still so much more to come. I'm honoured that you have joined me and I wish you all that you deserve - that is: to be enjoying life, rather than enduring it. If I can help you to make that happen, it will be a privelege.

All the very best, Bev


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    Author and Artist

    Bev Aisbett is the author and illustrator of 10 self-help books on overcoming anxiety, depression and related issues and facilitates workshops on these subjects

    Bev is also an exhibiting painter

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